Allies
   
 
 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 

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ALLY RESOURCES

The following tips for allies have been adapted from LGBT@UCLA and are available to campus units and the faculty and students of UCSC in the form of "safe-person/safe-place" cards. These cards are available free of charge at the Lionel Cantú GLBTI Resource Center.

For more information or to order "safe-person/safe-place cards, please call us at (831) 459-2468 or e-mail us at queer(AT)ucsc.edu . A limited supply of safe-space cards are available for members outside the UCSC campus community.

QUALITIES OF AN ALLY

  • Allies work to develop an understanding of the needs to GLBTI folks and to align with and respond to their needs.
  • Allies know it is in their self-interest to be allies.
  • Allies are committed to the personal growth (in spite of the probable discomfort) required.
  • Allies take pride in responding to heterosexism and transphobia.
  • Allies expect support from other allies.
  • Allies are able to acknowledge/articulate how patterns of fear have operated in our lives.
  • Allies know that in the most empowered ally relationships, the folks in the non-oppressed role initiate the change toward personal, institutional, and societal justice and equality.
  • Allies promote a sense of community with GLBTI folks, and teach others about the importance of outreach.
  • Allies have a good sense of humor.

TIPS FOR WHEN SOMEONE COMES OUT TO YOU

  • Be a good listener. Be patient. A person who is coming out may have a hard time talking about it. Don't force them to disclose it. Let them tell you at their own pace.
  • Commit yourself as an ally. Let them know you're accepting.
  • Keep their confidence, respect their privacy.
  • Acknowledge the risk they took coming out to you. Compliment their courage. Don't minimize the importance of what they did by saying, "It doesn't matter to me."
  • Instead say, "Thank you for trusting me." Or, "It doesn't change how I feel about you," or say that it might change things in a positive way.
  • Don't over-react. Don't expect them to take care of your feelings-keep their focus on them.
  • If you're comfortable with it, offer a hug or show some sort of support.
  • Ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?."
  • Don't ask, "Are you hot for me? What made you do this? Is it a phase? Aren't you worried about AIDS? Were you molested?"